Who I Am

Hey
Hello
And how do you do
Before we go further
Let me tell you the truth
I’m obnoxious
Catty
And sometimes rude
Selfish
Stubborn
With a bit of an attitude
I cry and pout
When I’m looking for attention
I cuss and shout
When loosing a situation
My mood swings shift
In the matter of seconds
You’ll never know what you’re getting
I’ll keep ya guessing
I can be controlling and mean
And hate being rejected
With these pretty eyes and smile
I know its not expected
I’m condescending and ruthless
Or so I’ve been told
I’m picky and spiteful
And I don’t like hearing no
At any given moment
I can be sweet as pie
But I’ll insult your intelligence
Just give it some time
I’m nervous, untrusting,
That’s the truth for what it’s worth
So I hide behind negativity
because I’m afraid of being hurt
You see
Experience has taught me
To question everyone
The instant you’re guard is down
Is the instant you’re done
And before you pull me apart
I’ll do it to you
I rather dismantle with my words
Then ever be the fool
Arms length you’ll stay
You’ll be the one rejected
So if you go away
It’ll only be as expected
The damage I’ve endured
Runs extremely deep
I am not for the wounded
Soft, mild, or meek
This battle is not easy
For any who pursues
So run the other way for cover
That’s the logical thing to do
But if you think you can
Withstand this brewing storm
Then enter at your own risk
And remember you’ve been warned
I’m a beaten and broken woman
Steadily repeating the errors of her past
On the brink of insanity
Because it all never seems to last
But if you think you have the patience
After everything I’ve told to you
Then maybe, just maybe
This boulder will be allowed to move
Scattered pieces pulled together
Life given anew
Clouded eyes made clear
I’ve been waiting for you
Until, then, though
This record will continue to be on repeat