You’ll never pay me back
You can’t pay me back
Even if you paid me every last cent
It still wouldn’t amount to the time spent
and so,
you will never be able to repay me
You’ll never be able to give back the love given
The past I sometimes sit reminiscing
because unfortunately for me
we cannot rewind time and miss each other
land into the hands of another
and make history with them instead
maybe now we would have wed
just to someone else
rather than being placed back on a shelf
as a book partially read
in my head
i have forgiven
in my head
you have forgiven
but also in my head
there is a dread that I will never see the end of
what one cannot amend
without time
but I need mine
what is left of it
though some is spent
often wishing you never meant
anything
to me
and that the cents and dollars I’ll never get back
wouldn’t matter
because love would have never shattered
and memories would not be bitter sweet
sometimes i weep about it
because i could truly deal with
never seeing it again
if it meant i had my friend
back
i know how I act
but the truth
no
the fact is
the scorn i may hold in my heart
is because deep down a part of me
wishes it didn’t feel pointless
that it wasn’t all worthless
maybe then
we’d both be at peace
with what transpired
and elevate higher
than downplayed feelings
of disappointment and regret
salted with anger and a desire to forget
what will never go away
even if paid in full
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. (12Mar17)
by 
