i’m really not that angry anymore
at least not like before
but obviously there’s something
because is there nothing
making its way to creation
but this type of noise?
i swear whatever i am really feeling
just keeps on spilling
while a smile lays peacefully across my face
as if the case is completely other than what i type
as i write
the ghostly forms of words
whispered into my ear
suddenly appearing before me on the screen
it’s obscene
this constant play
of sadness
longing
want
an unrequited dream that haunts
although in truth
i am fine
i think i’m fine
i look into my eyes
and i do not see tear drops
but yet the rainbow that forms
once the storm stops
and has drifted on to different pasture
my laughter is strong and boisterous
certainly not full of trust
but just give it time
because all in all
all the signs point to happy
to prosper
to blessed
so yes
it is a bit baffling
that all the rattling
from my mind to finger tips
reflect one who is whipped
by love
lust
loss
paying off a cost for losing the game
wearing the shame
of the scarlet letter
no better than a modern day harlot
maybe a charlatan
using poor self as a device for wealth
hmmm
it was worth a try
but I know that is not what it is
for i have no business in that type of trickery
I save that for misery
and let it be the company
With time steady ticking
I have none to spare
but dare the words to not seem endless
regarding this phenomenon
that although pain does not pierce my heart
my words portray a world torn apart
regretting its start
left in park
engine still running
and waiting
“both patiently and impatiently”
for the ghost of holidays past
redirecting the oncoming crash
and preserving what didn’t last
What can I say
other than it inspires me
hard wires me
and brings life to emotions
that once laid at the surface
waiting for the sun to melt the ice
and release them
I am not cold
Nor am I mad
or holding a grudge
it’s still all love
but since I was young
victory of creation always won
through pain’s liberation
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. (13Mar17)
by 
