Change

I want to change for you
for us to grow together
into that singularity
of polarity
and just be
like we use to
I want to go back
to the old school tracks
and replay us on my record player
over and over and over again
moving slowly to the rhythms of blues
like that one time
in the middle of the floor
looking up into those eyes
and seeing my reflection
a sensational connection
that I yearn for now
so I am going to change somehow
to bring forth into our present
the lingering scent
of your natural musk in the air
mixed in with the excited fear
of seeing each other
for the first time
seemingly
every time
because you are the only surprise
I accept
How could you forget
that I hate surprises
Yet you I’ll take
If it equates to a progressive time
In my mind
I’m ready for you
And so to prove it
I am willing to change
Not because you asked me to rearrange who I am
but because I know that it is worth it
Not just for you
But for me
To challenge my own status quo
and move further into my own existence
And become the run on sentence
going the very distance
I once feared
because learned rules told me it was wrong
I was wrong
Deep within
lingering anxieties
remained inside me
Telling me
Teasing me
“You’ll fck it up!
You always do.
It’s the one thing you are good at.
The one thing you can count on.”
But I deserve the sun
And not the shadows of one
Losing you has proved
that game would never be won
So,
come back
I want your rain
Let me show you my shame
Let us be the claim
I am ready to change
And be the better you always saw
From the start

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. (18Mar17; JPN 19Mar17)

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Ameehsal MindSpeaka

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