I Don’t Deserve You

I don’t deserve you
I’d be a fool to
think that I do
No woman in her right mind
would be inclined
to think that little of herself
no amount of wealth
would ever forgo the hand dealt
by being with you
there’s got to be more
i’m worthy of more
so I am affording myself
the opportunity
to move forward
knowing I don’t deserve you
or the tales you say
when in your circles
about how wrong you were
to make me your girl
and the relief you feel now
since I am no longer around
I don’t deserve that
Or these false acts
of how i lacked so much of what you needed
Repeatedly
the snide innuendos seep through
I see them
And I don’t claim them for truths
and neither should you
as if the appeal was not there
like one doesn’t care
but I am aware of it
I see it
so beating around the bush
will not make it any less apparent
it’s okay to push
because so am i
no need to doubt the fact
that i am greater than
whatever equation
you have mathematically calculated
using your PEMDAS system
to analyze what didn’t
solve but resolve us
it was not so simple
and for one to assume as much
I don’t deserve
words would do better justice
overlaid to musical overtones
crescendos
and decrescendos
happy up
and down woes
a non-acceptance of self
reflected
a lethal objection
No one should have to deal with
Spirits saying to run
Yet readily handing over the gun
loaded and ready to be cocked
aimed
released…
I don’t deserve that shyt
Thoughts of it’s my fault
have gotten caught
in my throat
and made me choke
So now I vomit it up
and the up chuck is enough
for me to get over my fool
minstrel song and dance
giving self a better chance
to not only own my pluses,
but my minuses
and respect your pluses,
let you deal with your minuses
anything less than “Queen”
requires no response
I am
so I deserve the acknowledgement
But you,
I do not.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. (27Mar17)

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Ameehsal MindSpeaka

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