At some point
I often become a fantasy
But when reality hits
That ship sinks
And the fantasy ends
The “you’re not my usual”
No longer clouds the visual
And I am no longer desirable
Even if reliable
What you wanted
That’s my reality spin
As the ship sinks
Bringing about the chaos
That was always below the surface
Awaiting rough waves
In order to break through
So that the truth could be reflected
I am rejected
Because I was simply a stand-in
Until the usual stepped through
And my services were no longer needed
I’ve succeeded
In being only good enough
While eyes were blurred with past pain
I wear this shamed
Scarlett letter of despair
Forever a fantasy
Amongst the authenticity that doesn’t include me
How silly you see
For me to allow history to repeat
I being the unusual typecast in another’s script
Exotic afterthought
To be the healer of your tears
So that you could move on to the sunnier side
As I stand in what was your rain
Transfer of energy is real
And as you get back to your normal program
I sink into these slow jams
Wishing my fantasy will come along
Rescue me
Make me anew with calms seas
And maybe be my rebound as I was for you


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Ameehsal MindSpeaka

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